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I'm Just That Kid 1I don't even know.
Great way to start isn't it?
Yeah, I thought so as well.
Oh my dear heavenly Father, I don't know.
So, let's begin.
My name is Loren. I'm of the male gender. I'm sixteen. I'm pansexual.
Pansexual, for all of you homophobic straights, means that I like whatever grabs my goat, tickles my fanny, flies my kite, blah blah blah, I'm sure you have your own way of saying it. It does not mean I'm putting on some freaky romantic moves with Mommy's dinnerware, thank you Evan.
By the way Evan, your face reminds me of my fathers soiled underwear, and you should definitely go screw a tree.
Anyway, I've been this way since...well, there was never a day that I chose. I get asked that stupid question so very often, and so I'm going to share the answer with all of you.
So here goes.
"Lorrreennnnnn," drones some random kid.
"Yes?" I answer, fully polite and patient.
"Like, duuuuuude, when did you choose to be like, gay?"
Go on and insert
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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